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Reminiscing in Writing

A friend once told me that I should write more often my life lessons so that when I look back at this point in the years to come, I’d gratefully say, “God’s glory.” And I realized he’s right. In my years of keeping journals and blogs, I have often reminisced and reread God’s mercy and revelations that refreshed my soul in ways more than one.

So here I am, writing. Or rather, trying. The past year has been so full of lessons so drastic, deep, and life-altering. Every day offers new experiential knowledge of who God is and how insignificant I am before the Almighty Father. But also, things happen so fast, and these lessons have been spinning ever so swiftly around and about me that my writings couldn’t keep up with them.

A month ago, I went up to Tagaytay on my own for three days to have time to pause, reflect and meditate on all the lessons and occurrences the Lord is impressing upon me. (I’ll be sharing my raw writings in a different post.) I thought 2017 was a rough year. The days and months that followed proved to me one thing—Christianity is a journey exponentially increasing in difficulty. But it is also all the more abounding, overflowing, in grace and sustaining strength. I went up to have my personal retreat to take in all these truths so precious and to make sure my heart doesn’t forget—how easy it is for the heart to forget past mercies. What a shame.

I needed personal silence for me to seek God’s comfort in my life’s recent dark providences. Calvin passing away. An entire school year of teaching in a school physically, emotionally, and mentally drained and exploited me. Conflicts at home, issues with self, and challenges with friends. I thought I needed the silence because I needed comfort and soothing. God’s word directed me to a theme entirely different from what I expected.

He showed me with a fresh lens what He has been teaching me for years — that I must turn my eyes upon Jesus. All of my readings during that trip pointed back to one theme: if you love the Lord, you love His commandments. If you love His commandments, you love to obey.

No. Matter. The. Situation.

No matter what you feel. No matter what you think. No matter what other things you would rather do. No matter whatever other callings you would rather have been called to fulfill. My God is an exact God. His word will tell me what to do, and if I love the Lord, I would /love/ to keep His law. Not just obey Him but delight to do so. Not obey Him with a heavy heart, but with sheer joy and deep gladness.

The tasks at hand—in the church, at work, in the family—are all still looming. They are all as difficult, challenging, and terrifying as ever. But I love the Lord, and He is my strength. I love the Lord, and I love His commandments. And that is enough to get me through each task day by day, moment by moment until I finish this race.

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