Reminiscing Truths ⚓

No matter what, we have to keep moving forward, even if we have to crawl.                                                 ― Kellie Elmore My 2018's end is marked by the death of my brother, Calvin. He died last December 7 because of a blood-poisoning disease, typhoid toxemia. He was fifteen. This occurrence shocked the tears and grief out of us, and while the hustle and bustle of the wake and burial compelled me to set my own emotions aside to take care of logistical things and other immediate concerns, I knew I had to deal with it soon after. Sure enough, when I opened my emotional ice box to retrieve these emotions, they came back in strong currents, in huge waves. And the best (or worst, still can't decide which) part in grieving after everyone else has grieved is, you're left on your own. After every condolence has been thrown out and said, after ev...

It has been a very meditative week of more devoted prayer and intermittent fasting (or intermittent eating because I fasted more than I ate). A lot has been shoved down my plate lately, and this week started off with another shaking and breaking. And there are many, many, many  lessons and happenings in the span of a week. Additional work load to my ever increasing pile of school duties. Same old issues resurfacing. The old burden and zeal to invest in the lives of other people--and not seeing pleasant results. Same old, but brand new stories of I-don't-like-you's. Of feeling like the girl in between two worlds--never quite in one, never quite part of the other. Many things. I am still trying to process each of these very much tangled, very much interconnected ball of thoughts and feelings. Maybe one day, I get to write about each one ever more clearly. But one of the things that I had (have, still not over) to deal with, is my still very much unsettled feeling and reso...